control of relationships: codependency and love and also like some dodie as well

As I was listening to music with a nostalgic touch, I was reexploring dodie’s discography, and eventually reached Ready Now, a song about rebuilding oneself after a shitty relationship. I thought the concept and how the story is told were fascinating and helped give a complicated narrative a proper answer. However, it made me wonder about codependency on relationships and how society generally pushes towards a requirement for marriage.

Marriage is a weird place to start because it's a complete change from the beginning of a relationship to the beginning of forever, but it offers a great point of view for codependency. A common trope of some Rom-Coms is "marrying rich", with hopes of boasting the financial stance of the receiving end, or the less fortunate. It is an enthralling concept because realistically, who does not want to be rich and live out their best dreams with the person they love, but do they really love them? Marriage becomes vital, especially in the western hemisphere, with the introduction of your late 20s and early 30s. Financially, loans are easier to be accessed, shared expenses offer security, and joint tax filing leads to a lower tax burden. Marriage can easily be appealing with these reasons and many look at the dollars signs rather than focusing on the consequences. Poor communication is a popular reasoning for clashing financial rationale, and it causes marital problems swiftly. Codependency arises when looking at other aspects of marriage as well. A lot of the benefits, such as shared responsibilities, emotional support, and medical decisions, offer great assistance to someone who may need it. 

To wrap everything together, a lot of these problems solely stem from capitalism... which is a whole other concept I cant wait to write about. Capitalism makes being married (and straight) the most reliable option for a relationship if the individuals are looking for long term. Relationships are absolute in the effort required but if if one cannot live with themselves on their own, how are they supposed to succeed married? 

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

 

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